The Playbook For Singleness: Finding Contentment In The Season You’re In
Olivia Garino
Singleness. It's a word that can evoke a range of emotions, from peaceful contentment to gnawing loneliness. While marriage is undoubtedly a beautiful gift, so is the season of singleness. It's a time of unique freedom and opportunity, a chance to deepen your relationship with God and discover your true purpose.
The Cultural Pressure:
Our society relentlessly pushes the narrative that romantic relationships are the ultimate source of happiness. Movies, music, and social media constantly bombard us with images of idyllic couples, leaving many singles feeling inadequate or incomplete. This pressure can be incredibly difficult to navigate, leading to feelings of envy, discontent, and even depression.
Paul's Perspective:
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses the topic of marriage, acknowledging the advantages of singleness. He emphasizes that unmarried individuals have the freedom to focus solely on serving God, free from the distractions and responsibilities of a spouse and family. This doesn't mean marriage is inferior, but rather that singleness offers a unique path to spiritual growth and intimacy with God.
Finding Fulfillment in God:
The truth is, no human relationship can truly fulfill the deepest longings of our hearts. Only God can. The desire for companionship and love is a reflection of our innate longing for connection with our Creator. When we seek fulfillment in fleeting earthly pleasures or in the approval of others, we will inevitably be left wanting.
True Love: A Glimpse of God's Grace
The romantic love we see in movies and stories is a beautiful reflection of the ultimate love story: the love between God and His people. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross is the epitome of selfless love, a love that surpasses all human understanding. This is the love that truly satisfies, the love that makes us whole and complete.
Embracing Your Purpose:
Instead of viewing singleness as a curse, embrace it as a gift. Use this time to cultivate a deeper relationship with God, to discover your passions, and to serve others. Invest in your spiritual growth through prayer, Bible study, and acts of service.
Preparing for the Future:
Even if you long for marriage, use this season to prepare for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Focus on personal growth, develop strong character traits, and learn to love yourself deeply. This will not only benefit you in your singleness but will also make you a better spouse and partner in the future.
Remember:
Invest in Christian community: Surround yourself with supportive friends and mentors who can offer encouragement and accountability.
Remind yourself of the Gospel: Regularly meditate on the truth of God's love and the incredible sacrifice of Jesus.
Practice spiritual disciplines: Make time for prayer, Bible study, and acts of service. These disciplines will deepen your relationship with God and bring lasting peace.
Become more like Jesus: Focus on developing the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 1
Singleness is a season, not a sentence. Embrace the unique opportunities it offers, and trust that God is working all things together for your good.
The Playbook for a Great Marriage: Lessons from the Gridiron
Pastor Emeritus Jim Priesig
Have you ever wondered why some marriages seem to thrive for decades while others fizzle out? As a 22-year veteran pastor who's been married for over 40 years, I've seen my fair share of relationships - both on and off the field. Today, I want to share with you a playbook for a great marriage, drawing inspiration from an unlikely source: football.
The Alarming Stats
Before we dive into the playbook, let's look at some sobering statistics. Did you know that "the divorce rate for adults 50 and older has doubled since the 1990s"? Even more shocking, "among those 65 and older, the divorce rate has tripled in the same period." These Numbers tell us that even long-term marriages aren't immune to breakdown. So, how can we build marriages that not only last but thrive?
God's Vision for Marriage
Let's start by revisiting God's vision for marriage. In Proverbs 5:18-19, we're told to "rejoice in the wife of your youth" and to "be intoxicated always in her love." This isn't just about young love - it's a call to continually delight in your spouse throughout your life. The Song of Solomon echoes this sentiment, comparing love to fine wine and fragrant oils.
But perhaps the most powerful description comes from Ephesians 5:25, where Paul instructs husbands to "go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the Church. A love Marked by giving, not getting." This sacrificial love forms the foundation of a great marriage.
The Playbook for a Great Marriage
Now, let's break down our playbook into four key elements:
1. Master the Fundamentals
Just as football legend Vince Lombardi famously held up a football and said, "Gentlemen, this is a football," we need to get back to basics in our marriages. The most fundamental aspect? A great relationship with God. As counterintuitive as it might seem, putting God first actually enhances your relationship with your spouse.
"When you worship together, when you pray together, when you do devotions together, you're a different person than otherwise," I've observed over the years. Start and end each day by thanking God for your spouse. This simple practice can transform your marriage.
2. No Unsportsmanlike Conduct
Living in close proximity inevitably leads to friction. It's okay to fight - in fact, it's far worse to let a marriage devolve into cold indifference. But if you're going to fight, fight fair. Call out unsportsmanlike conduct when it happens. "Throw down that flag," as we say in football. Say, "Unsportsmanlike conduct. Roughing the passer. Clipping." This can help diffuse tension and bring a touch of humor to heated moments.
3. Give 120%
In football and in marriage, giving just 50% doesn't cut it. As I often tell couples, "Marriage is doomed to failure if you try to make it 50/50. Because then you're always counting and watching what the other person is doing." Instead, aim to give 120%. It's not about one big sacrifice, but daily acts of love that show your commitment.
4. Dare to Go Long
In football, there's nothing quite like a long pass that results in a touchdown. In marriage, "daring to go long" means thinking beyond the moment. It's about doing things today that will make your relationship better tomorrow and in all the tomorrows to come.
Putting It Into Practice
As I approach my 41st wedding anniversary, I can honestly say I'm more in love with my wife today than when we first married. How? By consistently applying these principles. Here are some practical steps you can take:
1. Start and end each day by thanking God for your spouse.
2. Establish regular times for worship, prayer, and devotions together.
3. When conflicts arise, call out "unsportsmanlike conduct" to diffuse tension.
4. Look for daily opportunities to give 120% in your marriage.
5. Make decisions with the long-term health of your marriage in mind.
Remember, a great marriage doesn't happen by accident. It requires intention, effort, and a willingness to keep learning and growing together. But the rewards - a deep, lasting love that honors God and blesses others - are well worth it.